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allthingsbrightandbold:

I’m the worst

:’)

STAHP I had so much fun chatting with you today!

Also I’m sorry about your knees.

(also I don’t know how to do the thing where you just reply to a post instead of reblogging it)

  • (I am working a morning shift at a cafe. We are serving breakfast. A little boy and his mother enter the cafe.)
  • Me: “So, what will it be?”
  • Child: “I WISH TO DEVOUR THE UNBORN.”
  • (There is a sudden silence and everyone turns to look. The mother looks very embarrassed.)
  • Mother: “Eggs… he would like some eggs…”